The cold waking life
Upon the lovely earth
Continuing
Hope for higher Heaven
I' the summer sky
In my very heart
Imagining
What more could I have seen?
My spell - the chilly wind on the moon
Shone too coldly - let it pass
I have dreams in delirious eyes
Of Paradise and Love
And
All our young hope.
This Erasure is shared with dVerse - Erasure Poetry.
Amrit this is so good! You did it nicely...A lovely poem.....
ReplyDeletepardon my ignorance, but is this too a form of poetry??
ReplyDeleteYes it is ... Even I came to know about this form of poetry today, and thus goes my attempt :-)
DeleteYour poem has a freshness to it, Amrit... there is youthfulness and vibrancy to it. :)
ReplyDeleteA unique way to pen down your ideas... Really beautiful friend :) Keep doing more such stuff :) Take care!
ReplyDeleteThank You Tanya :-)
Deletenice...just fished your comment out of the spam filter at dVerse..love that you chose poe as a source...love the dreams in delirious eyes...
ReplyDeleteif you want some more comments, you could try and visit others that took the challenge, comment on their erasure poem and leave your link.. just a suggestion..smiles
Thanks for this lovely comment Claudia :-)
DeleteI am fascinated with this form .. had not known about it until I read Brian's poem earlier this week. I'm experimenting with it now ... your erasure poem is awesome!!!
ReplyDeleteThank You Helen :-)
DeleteVery, VERY well done! You do great justice to the form!
ReplyDeletesome really cool lines you created...the cold waking life....dreams in delirious eyes....it is a very cool erasure...and fitting for poe as well...smiles.
ReplyDeletesnuck your link in...
Thank You Brian :-)
DeleteVery fitting for Poe - and really well done.
ReplyDeleteK.
Ah, Poe. My favourite writer. Nice one.
ReplyDeleteThank You Anthony :-)
DeleteWow! Well done on a new form of poetry. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Sui :-)
DeleteThis is an interesting result ~ Poe is also one of my favorite writers ~
ReplyDeleteThank You Grace :-)
DeleteSpectacular job ,mate!! keep it up :)
ReplyDeleteery, very nice erasure of Poe's poem. Lovely!
ReplyDeleteThank You Bren :-)
DeleteThis is fantastic, a distillation that sings. You use the silences to enhance atmosphere and intrigue. Thanks so much for joining us!
ReplyDeleteThanks Anna :-)
Deleteoh my...this poem really touched me deeply! What a lovely poem! This has become one of my favorites ! Thanks so much for sharing this enlightening poem.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up.
Thank You Dana :-)
DeleteI really like the way you did this. Beautiful poem.
ReplyDeletea unique style of writing dat can capture the mind so fast...nicely written friend:)...GOD LOVE U
ReplyDeleteThank You Adhi :-)
DeleteWow! Amrit, very nice. I don't believe you are attempting this form for the first time!
ReplyDeleteThanks Meenakshi :-)
DeleteI love your writing and I appreciate the way you laid this out for your readers. Thank you
ReplyDeleteThank You so much :-)
DeleteYou,ve done it so well GS, nice eraser!
ReplyDeleteHank
Thanks Hank :-)
DeleteThis is so good :)
ReplyDeleteThank You Tigerbrite :-)
Deletecold waking life
ReplyDeleteUpon the lovely earth
Intriguing image... and the closing with young hope. Nicely done.
Thanks Margaret !!!
DeleteOh wow! This AMAZING!
ReplyDelete