Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Hurdle




As I walk towards the vines entwined across the fence, I remember how we curled up in love on the moist grass that rainy afternoon, tears exchanged with the tip of our tongues as we bathed in the fragrance of pristine serenity.

We disobeyed the fence at times, stealing long awaited celestial moments with the stars invading our privacy.

However, we never made promises; rather, we walked our separate ways, either side of the white fence, that symbolized the barrier that had always existed between us.

The fence stands majestically even today. Can I cross the hurdle one last time?


This 100 Word Fiction is shared with Friday Fictioneers.













58 comments:

  1. Now flowery words.

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  2. Very poetic. I like the image of the stars invading their privacy.
    janet

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  3. sigh. you are the master of passionate, poetic words.. everything, from your haiku to your stories. loved it! ^^ and it's a great story.. i love romance.. maybe he will cross the hurdle and never have to go back.. or they could break the fence entirely ^^

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    1. Whatever they do, I hope they do not have to regret later :-)

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  4. It was a very lovely romantic piece.. I like the last sentence though.. "Can I cross the hurdle one last time?" Very poignant..

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  5. Beautiful story, like a scene in a romantic movie...

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  6. My favorite, hands down, you have written! Sad. Beautiful. Accurate for many, no doubt. Resonates.

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  7. Very preety little story.
    The divide is beautifully portrayed, the connection too.
    You should take even writing stories seriously.

    Keep writing :)

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  8. Just one word, BRAVO !! You write such intense pieces, see I told you tum dhoom macha doge, hehe !! AN impeccable micro-fiction... Yeah ! Cross that hurdle & come on the other side of the fence !! :) This was super cool !

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    1. Thank you so much Tanya ... and as you know, your micro-fictions really are an inspiration to me :-)

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  9. I like 'star invading privacy'. You are a magician with words, Amrit. Stunning write up.

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  10. Dear Green Speck,
    You presented some lovely imagery in the piece. You may correct me if I'm wrong but I saw the fence, the hurdle, as a symbol of commitment. Nice writing in any case.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks for interpreting it so beautifully Rochelle :-)

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  11. A very good addition to our ranks. I have not read your writing beofre, so welcome if you are new and welcome if I have just missed doing so before.

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    1. I am new to your blog Dobson ... thanks for the warm welcome :-)

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  12. Nice writing! I love the phrase "celestial moments." It makes me pause, to ponder what that means. Nice work!

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    1. I hope you didn't have to pause for long ;-)

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  13. real life will always be better than reel life :)

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  14. Your choice of words made the micro-fiction poetic..."Stars invading privacy" is such a nice phrase...Fabulous write-up!!

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  15. Very romantic and tender.

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  16. There's always time for one last kiss, until there's not. Don't hesitate.

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  17. very nice / love the symbol (barrier) of the fence

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  18. a nice piece, approaching poetry

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  19. pretty haiku, soothing.

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  20. Now this is what i love about your writing....comprehensive n deep enough to drown the reader......i drowned thrice ...hehe

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    1. Wow ... and I love your comments so much ... they really make me believe I can write :-)

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  21. Wonder what the hurdle is?

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  22. Nice to see you here as well. It's a lovely piece of poetic prose you have here.

    Bjorn

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  23. oh nice! Its very Romeo and Juliet! love it.

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  24. Beautiful words. I really enjoyed this.

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  25. Barriers, barriers!
    Well done!

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