Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Hurdle




As I walk towards the vines entwined across the fence, I remember how we curled up in love on the moist grass that rainy afternoon, tears exchanged with the tip of our tongues as we bathed in the fragrance of pristine serenity.

We disobeyed the fence at times, stealing long awaited celestial moments with the stars invading our privacy.

However, we never made promises; rather, we walked our separate ways, either side of the white fence, that symbolized the barrier that had always existed between us.

The fence stands majestically even today. Can I cross the hurdle one last time?


This 100 Word Fiction is shared with Friday Fictioneers.













58 comments:

  1. Very poetic. I like the image of the stars invading their privacy.
    janet

    ReplyDelete
  2. sigh. you are the master of passionate, poetic words.. everything, from your haiku to your stories. loved it! ^^ and it's a great story.. i love romance.. maybe he will cross the hurdle and never have to go back.. or they could break the fence entirely ^^

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whatever they do, I hope they do not have to regret later :-)

      Delete
  3. It was a very lovely romantic piece.. I like the last sentence though.. "Can I cross the hurdle one last time?" Very poignant..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Beautiful story, like a scene in a romantic movie...

    ReplyDelete
  5. My favorite, hands down, you have written! Sad. Beautiful. Accurate for many, no doubt. Resonates.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very preety little story.
    The divide is beautifully portrayed, the connection too.
    You should take even writing stories seriously.

    Keep writing :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just one word, BRAVO !! You write such intense pieces, see I told you tum dhoom macha doge, hehe !! AN impeccable micro-fiction... Yeah ! Cross that hurdle & come on the other side of the fence !! :) This was super cool !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Tanya ... and as you know, your micro-fictions really are an inspiration to me :-)

      Delete
  8. I like 'star invading privacy'. You are a magician with words, Amrit. Stunning write up.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dear Green Speck,
    You presented some lovely imagery in the piece. You may correct me if I'm wrong but I saw the fence, the hurdle, as a symbol of commitment. Nice writing in any case.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for interpreting it so beautifully Rochelle :-)

      Delete
  10. A very good addition to our ranks. I have not read your writing beofre, so welcome if you are new and welcome if I have just missed doing so before.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am new to your blog Dobson ... thanks for the warm welcome :-)

      Delete
  11. Nice writing! I love the phrase "celestial moments." It makes me pause, to ponder what that means. Nice work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you didn't have to pause for long ;-)

      Delete
  12. real life will always be better than reel life :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Your choice of words made the micro-fiction poetic..."Stars invading privacy" is such a nice phrase...Fabulous write-up!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. There's always time for one last kiss, until there's not. Don't hesitate.

    ReplyDelete
  15. very nice / love the symbol (barrier) of the fence

    ReplyDelete
  16. a nice piece, approaching poetry

    ReplyDelete
  17. Now this is what i love about your writing....comprehensive n deep enough to drown the reader......i drowned thrice ...hehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow ... and I love your comments so much ... they really make me believe I can write :-)

      Delete
  18. Wonder what the hurdle is?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Nice to see you here as well. It's a lovely piece of poetic prose you have here.

    Bjorn

    ReplyDelete
  20. oh nice! Its very Romeo and Juliet! love it.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Beautiful words. I really enjoyed this.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Barriers, barriers!
    Well done!

    ReplyDelete