Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Car House




I didn't believe it at first.

"You made a what?" I asked, astonished.

"A car," he smiled.

"A car?"

"Yes, those vehicles with four wheels that ..." he began enthusiastically.

Now this was strange. "Yes, I know what a car means, but how the hell did you make it? You are no damn mechanic. And it looks so different, not just like any car."

"That's because it's my home-car," he beamed proudly, "I live here."

"Why, what happened to your house?" I was curious.

"Well, you see," he gulped, "my wife stays there with her new friend, a man, so.."



This 100 Words Fiction is shared with Friday Fictioneers.






49 comments:

  1. What a charming story. However sad that the wife put him out while she and her new friend enjoys his house.

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    1. Yes, but it's good that he has learnt to move on !!!

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  2. Reminds me of the grown-up version of "The Boxcar Children), a classic children's book. Your story flowed smoothly.

    janet

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  3. That was pure tragedy... It hurts to read. Well done

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  4. cool flash fiction/poem. I can imagine this has happened to some
    guy or woman.

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  5. 'home-car'... innocent, sad, sweet in a way

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    1. Is this your first time in FriFic? Welcome.

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    2. This is my 2nd time ... thanks for the welcome :-)

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  6. omg i feel so sorry for him... he tried to mask the pain with humor.. great job with this one!

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  7. He sounds like a true innocent, although maybe that's just his coping mechanism, to refer to his wife's "new friend". Still, pretty tragic. Excellent job.
    I didn't get a chance to read your story from last week yet, so welcome. I think last week was your first time here, right?

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    1. Yes, this is my 2nd time here ... thanks so much :-)

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  8. Nice story, the reader couldn't help warming to the poor man.

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  9. Poor guy's pretty accepting of dismal circumstances. Nice flow to your dialogue. A friend of mine had a girl leave him for a taxi driver. His comment in the midst of his despair was "At least she has transportation."
    shalom,
    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks Rochelle ... people who can smile in sadness are really brave !!!

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  10. Oh, great ending. Great writing throughout.

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  11. Necessity is the mother of invention, eh?
    I liked the story.

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  12. Poor guy...but he found hope in sadness is sounds like.

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  13. I love that seat cover! And what a vivid story. Nice writing here.

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  14. Liked the flow of conversation and the tragic end ..

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  15. oh, that's a delicious arrangement :P LOL..

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  16. Oh,,,so sad and poignant,,,I like this guy, really well done, GS,,

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  17. oh crap. yeah, i kinda been there. hated that. well done.

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  18. She moved on in one way while he was left to move on in another. I hope he has a plan for adverse weather!

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  19. very strange, how did you come up with the idea!

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  20. a character of sad innocence. this reader immediately wants to take him under her wing. Something like this is not easy to do in 100 words. Good Job.

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  21. Gosh, I wonder if I can make some grammar suggestions, or is that out of line?
    Just typos really: your first line should have 'at' in it, so it should read "I didn't believe it at first."
    And really, you need an article, such as 'a' before "car" - a car, would be the way most people would talk about it.
    If you need to take out other words to compensate, you can take out "a man", when your friend tells you his wife is living with a friend. We already get the idea that she's left him out in the cold.
    But the wonderful part of your story is that he is not out in the cold! He has "a car!"

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    1. Thanks so much for your suggestions ... I have made a few changes :-)

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  22. I love the idea of a home-car. With that last line you've left me wanting to know more of the why and how he ended up living in it.

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    1. Thank You Sarah ... Perhaps I can cover the story in a later post :-)

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  23. Aww poor guy. I enjoyed your story. I have to wonder about how the rest of this poor fellow's life looks. Is he going to be okay. You really pulled me in and wanted to know more about the character.

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    1. I guess he is brave, and will find his way out :-)

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  24. I really liked the subject's optimism in the face of the end of his marriage and I think he deserves more than 100 words.

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