Sunday, November 11, 2012

The Way Out



I am trapped
As the coffin plays with my soul
Relishing the taste
Of lost love and hope
Shrouded in darkness
Laughing at my struggle
Each attempt, futile
The nails on my fingers
Melting in the sand
Eyes under the mask
Draped in misery, now wet
With tears that catch fire
Burning my dreams
The wax reminds me of the candle
Where I flickered once
Not too long ago
The flame now silent
In muted oblivion
Searching for the way out.

But is there a way out?




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60 comments:

  1. scary, I almost felt claustrophobic!

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  2. Thanks for your contribution. The imagery was lovely and sad.

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  3. Am wowed....such gorgeously vivid images...wonderfully written.

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  4. first of all I am visiting your page first time and I love the lay out.
    and about poems, the dark, gothic poems have always appealed to me.
    asteria

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    1. Thanks Asteria. Please keep visiting :-)

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  5. The opening two lines are awesome, I thoroughly enjoy the coffin being personified.

    My favorite part:

    "With tears that catch fire
    Burning my dreams"

    Great description and concept!

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  6. You've expressed the situation of helplessness very beautifully!!
    Brilliant!

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  7. These lines: "...with tears that catch fire / burning my dreams..." are worth the price of admission alone. Wll done.

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  8. Am enjoying every piece of your blog now!

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  9. Very scary..it left me with a spine-chilling feeling!! Nice poem :)

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  10. I have known this nightmarish anxiety well. vividly portrayed.

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  11. Very claustrophobic, I could feel the angst all through this. Gripping.

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  12. Very beautiful and powerful, this is the first time of been to your blog, I think I'll sign up to receive updates (for posts).

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  13. Very powerful poetry ~ (A Creative Harbor) ^_^

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  14. Wow. Very powerful and intense. I really liked it Green Speck!

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  15. Whew, this is indeed chilling! I do like your longer forms.

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  16. powerful and full of sorrow...with a glimmer, just a glimmer of hope. Which leads me to ask if you will join me and many others by participating in the gratitude quilt this year... there is info about what this project is and how to be part of it at the top of my blog.

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    1. Wow ... I would love to ... thanks for the invitation Laura :-)

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  17. Some really great imagery here Green :)

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  18. Loved that phrase tears catch fire burning my dreams--very inspired! Excellent :-)

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  19. Now that IS a question. Is there a way out?

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  20. You have described a scary situation in a terrific way, I am trembling...brrrrr.
    There is always a way out, just wait.
    :)

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  21. We have a saying that "Death is final." I think that doesn't venture to argue about one's soul. That part is a great unknown.

    I enjoyed your write about this struggle. Personally I believe that at death, one's soul is destined as God wishes it to be.

    Thank for reading my version of one's soul as it struggles with one's will during life.
    ..

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    1. Thanks Jim for your insights ... it's always good to know your stories and what you think :-)

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  22. Sometimes it feels like there is no way out!

    I think we just have to look through more creative eyes.

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  23. World is round or oblong you may say so yeah there's really no way out, we just need to refresh our mind and think differently each time we feel tired and sad, just enjoy the journey of life!

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    1. That's a good observation ... liked it :-)

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  24. Your words are amazing. Terrific writing.

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  25. great sense of struggle and loss

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