Saturday, February 01, 2014

Frozen

The cold water pierced every pore of my naked body, making my mind numb for a few seconds.

As my senses dawned back, my ecstasy knew no bound as I  realized that I had won the bet, of diving into the cold icy terrains of snow.

I had to stay inside the water for thirty seconds as per the terms of the challenge, and being a trained swimmer, it wasn't much of an inconvenience for me.

I counted thirty, and raced upwards, suddenly hitting a rock solid terrace, obstructing my path, and denying me the vent to reach the surface.

I looked in horror at the transparent sheet that separated me from the remaining years of my life; the water surface, on the top, was now a hard frozen mass.


This Micro-Fiction is shared with Five Sentence Fiction-Frozen.



28 comments:

  1. Wow this was very vividly written...I felt the perspective, especially this part "I looked in horror at the transparent sheet that separated me from the remaining years of my life". Wonderfully done.

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  2. The very thought of swimming in such biting cold gave me goosebumps.A very well written post!

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  3. Burning desire to breathe in frozen lake ... burning desire to live in this frozen land ... Love, cat.

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  4. So chillingly and vividly written! The last line is perfection to this story!

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  5. That was scary.. !! But absolutely well written :)

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  6. Scaring a hell remembering all those fear factor challenges but this one tops them.

    Here is mine: http://byastall.blogspot.in/2014/02/frozen.html

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    1. Fear Factor !!! Ha ha ha, I loved those shows :D

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  7. Very creepy! The story left me with a sense of how life would be in such a place. Perfectly written. The words would have been no better than this. Thanks for such an awesome piece of creativity :)

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  8. It's umm, creepy Amrit. I could picture the urge to breathe. Gave me thrills at once, this is such a brilliant one!

    I want to read more.

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  9. Oh this was chilling. No pun intended :)

    Beautiful piece!

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  10. Water can be breathe life into us and take our breath away...This fiction left me gasping for breath Amrit!!

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  11. I felt suffocated reading the last time.. God!!

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  12. Aw... Thats really sad... Scary...
    And I got goosebumps!

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  13. Nice write! Thanks for sharing.

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