Sunday, September 15, 2013

The White Flower Girl



Was it her beauty, or were the flowers too enamoring, I knew not; what I knew was that I lost my heart again the very instance I saw her.

Love struck me from North, South, East and West, rendering my mind numb and my restrain futile, and all attempts to alienate myself from this feeling failed miserably.

I looked at her,the flowers fresh with the morning dew, the fragrance entangled with her sweet scent, emanating an invigorating concoction that was difficult to resist.

The urge to hug her, to kiss her silken skin, to play with her reddish lips was too strong, but unfortunately, my current state of existence denied me the pleasures of love and lust.

As the final prayers were said, I smiled at her one last time; she, once my pretty wife; now, my poor widow.


This Five Sentence Fiction is shared with






34 comments:

  1. In the last line...you just broke my heart...:P

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  2. Touching one! The first few lines were refreshing and the twist you brought in the final line was saddening

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  3. God...you're just amanzingly superbly awesome ;)

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  4. .......and now my poor widow. This jolted me. Written very well.

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  5. I'm so sorry, but it just left me confused. The title and image made me think of a flower girl, aka a little 3 or 4 year old who proceeds the bride. So "urge... to kiss her silken skin, to play with her reddish lips was too strong..." just didn't sit right. Then at the end, I could tell I'd read it wrong, but rereading didn't help me interpret it the way you intended. It just left me lost, but I'm gad other people liked it.

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    1. I am sorry about that ... hope I can do better in future :-)

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  6. heartbreakingly beautiful

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  7. Amrit, your poetry becomes better and better. I enjoyed this poem as it progressed, and then the twist in the ending took my breath away. VERY well penned.

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  8. good write; have a nice Sunday

    much love...

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  9. The last line was very moving...

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  10. A nice and twisted ending :)

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  11. that was very gripping..
    I couldn't have guess that she was his wife
    loved the image of flowers and all beauty u created with your words

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  12. I love surprise endings...even the sad ones. Well done.

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  13. You just wrapped someone's whole life in few words!
    Superb! :)

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  14. Situations like that can be very hard on you. Very well written.

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  15. Heartbreaking, but still beautiful :)

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  16. Oh! I loved the ending... though sad...
    Because it came as a surprise
    And the words you have chosen are so poetic!

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  17. Telling a story in one line is amazing. Your last line unfolded all the story and you kept it weaving so beautifully :)

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